Articles of interracial dating
Maybe it isn’t even appropriate for your partner to talk to their family at all about their dating life.Or maybe your partner has to go through almost a “coming out” process around dating someone white or outside of their culture.If Barack Obama won his presidential campaign with a black woman at his side, it’s certainly not necessary for, say, a businessman to date interracially for the purpose of upward mobility.In an ideal world, people wouldn’t enter romantic relationships for what they stand to gain from their partners.– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.And while it’s important to be willing to talk to your partner about race and to feel comfortable bringing it up, it’s just as important to be willing to step back and recognize when your whiteness is intrusive. I’ve been the “But I love you, and you love me, and why can’t you share this with me? Because it’s really difficult to watch your partner hurt and not be let in. Maybe it isn’t appropriate for your partner to take you home to meet their parents.Interracial dating isn't without its problems, but today interracial relationships enjoy more support in the United States than they have at any point in history.While two decades ago, fewer than half of Americans approved of interracial marriage, now 65 percent of all Americans support such relationships, and 85 percent of young people do.
Dating interracially with misguided motives will inevitably lead to problems.
That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.
So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.
This isn’t to say that every successful minority who dates or marries interracially does so with ulterior motives.
But just as some high-powered men pursue trophy wives, some members of minority groups pursue mates from the dominant culture for status. Your friends, colleagues and relatives are all dating interracially or have in the past. After all, you don’t want to be the odd one out or, even worse, the boring one.